Are you Timmy, Johnny or Spike?

I already did an exhaustive analysis of the three Magic psychographics. However, it was missing something catchy – a message that is easy to “grok”. Like the little survey that follows here!

Let’s pretend you just built a deck for play in the MTGO casual room. A friend looks you over the shoulder and asks you a few questions. Chose the answer which sounds most similar to what you might actually say, and note if it was answer a), b) or c).

Question 1: What is your plan against hordes of small creatures?

a) Mine are bigger!

b) I’ll get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) I use cards like Arc Trail, Arc Lightning and Serrated Arrows in addition to some one-on-one removal to keep Weenies under control. Then I’ll play a few more powerful creatures.

Question 2: What is your plan against accelerated big creatures?

a) Mine are bigger! Ehm… what does “accelerated” mean?

b) I’ll get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) I have a couple of Oblivion Ring and Wrath of God to deal with them, and a few high-end creatures myself.

Question 3: What is your plan against fast burn decks?

a) Bah, those are boring – but I play 4 Elixir of Vitality and get a ton of life! I cannot be burned!

b) I’ll get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) I’ll try to stop them with Kitchen Finks, gain some extra life with Lightning Helix, then turn the tide with Baneslayer Angel.

Question 4: What is your plan against milling decks?

a) Bah, those are boring – but I play 4 Elixir of Vitality and can put everything back in my deck! I cannot be milled!

b) I’ll get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) I can not interact much with them, so I have to try and race with creatures and burn spells. If they rely on enchantments and artifacts, my Oblivion Ring and Orim’s Thunder will help. Depending on what I guess is in my opponent’s deck, I will either just play out threats as fast as possible or try to sandbag a few creatures to play around the first mass removal, if I suspect such a thing. I cannot afford to play around a second, though, because that would take too long – I’ll just have to hope I can win before they draw it.

Question 5: What is your plan against combination decks?

a) Combos? Cool! I once played against someone who put an equipment on one of his creatures, which somehow allowed him to play a spell every time the creature attacked, and that spell would untap his creature and allow him to attack again! That was fun! Then, in the other game I got a 20/20 Trench Gorger out and… sorry, what was your question again?

b) I’ll get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) I’m not sure combo belongs in the casual room. If the combo relies on permanents, I might be able to do something with my enchantment / artifact removal, and I can use my burn against planeswalkers, but even then, if the deck is built efficiently and played competently, I will just lose. You need specific hate to beat good combo decks.

Question 6: What is your plan against blue-based control?

a) I don’t play against counters! They’re no fun at all! Don’t let you play the game!

b) I have Nevermore and City of Solitude maindeck. They’ll help me to get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) It’s difficult, because I have few cheap creatures, but I have a few threats which cannot get countered in my deck – a couple Ghitu Encampment and a Kjeldoran Outpost – and I run a Hammer of Bogardan and an Eternal Dragon for inevitability. I’ll try to bait out counters early to keep my opponent from using his mana to draw extra cards, and save Disenchant effects for control auras. Then I hope I’ll find a way to get enough damage in that my opponent is forced to trade his counterspells with my burn spells. If I start so slow that they can afford to let them resolve, I will probably lose.

Question 7: What is your plan against attrition decks?

a) What decks? Ah – isn’t that the black enchantment that makes all players sacrifice creatures or something? Ha, they just wait until I get my Protean Hulk out! I’m not sure it’s in this deck, though. Does Grip of Chaos work here? That card is always fun!

b) I’ll get out Stony Silence, Mycosynth Lattice and Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. At the end of the game, I will keep seven cards in hand and draw and discard a Serra Avatar each turn until my opponent cannot draw a card anymore.

c) I will hold cards back which allow them to make easy 2:1 trades, since I’m not fast enough to overload their defenses. I can fight back a little with my multiple-target burn spells and the persisting Finks, and I will try to win the lategame with my special lands, the Hammer and my Eternal Dragon.

Question 8: How would you describe your deck?

a) It’s fun! I’m not sure what’s exactly in it, actually. Everyone tells me I should run more lands in my decks, but drawing lands is so boring. Also, I don’t need more than nine anyway – unless I play my Eldrazi deck, of course. That is fun!

b) It’s an Avatar theme deck, after the movie. There’s a Serra Avatar in it, and the Mycosynth Lattice is the neural network of the planet. Oh, and the Stony Silence turns off artifacts, just like the Na’vi destroy the invaders’ technology!

c) It’s a midrange deck with a good number of reactice control elements and some card advantage. It’s strong against creature strategies, weaker against control decks and too slow against non-interactive decks.

Bonus Question: What do you think about Planeswalker Points?

a) They’re so much fun! I’m almost a Guildmage already! And at the store where I play FNM, they now let us enter several tournaments at the same time. So much fun!

b) I feel the multiplier for Legacy events should be higher.

c) ( -vomiting noise- )

That was it! Now let’s tally your answers: For every a) answer you get a Timmy point, for every b) answer you get a Johnny point, and for every c) answer you get a Spike point.

Now you know!

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One Comment on “Are you Timmy, Johnny or Spike?”

  1. thewillfulwanderer Says:

    I find it very interesting that you, in the base article, accused MaRo of strawmanning Spikes (which I don’t think he did, but I agree he didn’t fully/accurately represent them), and then proceeded to strawman both Timmies and Johnnies in this (and the base article as well, though to a lesser degree). Should probably be more careful of that.


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